Melissa made the below post in another thread by Guy. When I first read about the concept of conscious incompetence it immediately reminded me of Bob's
Monster Under the Bed. I hope you guys don't mind me posting it here too. John
| From: Toast (GOLD!) | Sent: 8/20/2002 7:23 PM |
|
I've got a couple cents to throw in this discussion!
We're talking about facing an addiction, but also that we are rewiring our
awareness about long-standing habits around that addiction. We are learning! Anytime we endeavor to change - leave a relationship, start a new job,
take up or give up a hobby, habit or addiction - we enter into a broad process that has been identified as four stages of learning: 1) unconscious
incompetence; 2) conscious incompetence; 3) conscious competence; and 4) unconscious competence. At first, we are unaware of what our decision to
move forward will mean in the details of life. As we begin, we learn and learn and often quickly become aware of all there is yet to learn! With
determination, practice and patience, we are rewarded with doing well - and knowing it! Finally, we are so adept, so incorporated, our new state
becomes easily taken for granted. Think of learning to drive a car. Do you still climb behind the wheel with the heightened awareness of a 16 year
old and desire to do well, with a keen eagerness to use the turn signals and clutch as tho it were effortless?
So, in a very real sense, "learning" to quit smoking successfully fits
into this pattern of learning. What is described here as a No-Man's Land could be compared easily to the conscious incompetence state described
above. The rush of the newness is diminishing. We know enough to feel pretty content with this new state of things, and yet we are keenly aware of
the experience only time and practice and continued desire will manifest. We long of competence. Everyone else appears to be confident and
competent in their current place, while we can feel odd & out. It is that longing that can keep us moving forward!
I'd like to say as well that I don't think that educated thinking about
your quit counts as obsessing about smoking. Obsessing is fixed, often unwanted, circular, unreasonable, loopy thinking that doesn't let up. I
think lurking, reading, posting, thinking about your quit, trying on other people's ideas and successes and failures in your head, these things
can really help sort out your thoughts, your triggers, your psychology behind why you smoked. Now, if we were all posting all day about those
"Ahhhhhh" cigarette moments or the times we felt like a smoke was just the ticket ... that'd be another thing. That'd be
obsessing and it's be nothing near the entire truth. Instead, we are focused here on the greater reality of cigarettes, smoking and nicotine
addiction: quitting active nicotine addiction can add years and health to your life.
Huzzah!
 Melissa
Gold Club
|
Bob (3 years, 10 months free)
This is the first time I read or that it
clicked with me that you wouldn't get an ahh from your first cigarette. Just one more incentive to never take another puff.
