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 clean (bronze) |
The smoking dream | #81 | ||
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02/19/02 04:58 |
Thanks Marty. And no I don't and won't ever think I'm immune to smoking's bad effects. I'm already so glad to be rid of the smell, the shortness of breath when I exercised, the social stigma (I don't know too many people who still smoke, so I was a real stranger in my social circle), the frequent sinus infections, etc. etc. Thanks for filling me in and listening to my story. Have a good week! |
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OBob Gold |
The smoking dream | #82 | ||
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02/19/02 05:05 |
That's scary Mary! I too was spared the smoking dream earlier in my quit, only to be stricken with it multiple times (3 I think) in the past 10 days or so. The differences between your dream and mine are so tiny, they don't even bear mention. In fact, I was starting to wonder if you were snooping in on MY dreams. The only thing that eases the stress from them is that slowwwww realization that it was just a dream. I wake up all bummed out... I can't go back to Freedom. I'm a failure.... just kind of thoughts in the semi-awake mind. And then, eventually, I remember I was sleeping, and I have to kind of think back.... "I didn't REALLY smoke, did I?" It takes a few to confirm that I'm okay, but once I do, I get some relief. Very unsettling things, those dreams.... |
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Stan (Gold) |
The smoking dream | #83 | ||
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03/08/02 03:23 |
Funny that this thread should appear....just had one last night...can't even remember the
circumstances, but as always glad to wake up and realize it was a dream...This dreaming business apparently is like when I was about 12 or 13 yrs old and we
asked this old man of about 80 how old you had to get before you "Couldn't do it anymore"? He replied; "Boys you're going to have to
ask somebody older than me"
I been whoopin' nicodemon coming up on 18 mos and folks to find out when the smoking dreams cease
"you're going to have to ask someone who has quit longer than me"
Have a great day, Stan
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MSN User |
The smoking dream | #84 | ||
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03/11/02 01:20 |
 Thanks to all who replied to this
thread ..    Milly
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OBob Gold |
The smoking dream | #85 | ||
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03/16/02 12:36 |
I guess the Never Take Another PUFF thing has really sunk in.
So, I'm on this party bus, and we're headed home from a pub crawl in San Jose. And there's
Tess. She's offered a cigarette, and momentarily forgetting she doesn't smoke anymore, she absent-mindedly accepts, lights, puffs. I'm too
late. TESS, what the hell are you doing?! Momentarily, she looks panicked, as the new, free Tess, relinquishes control to the junky. The moment of panick
and horror passes from her face, and the junky speaks to me. "Don't get yer knickers in a twist Bob, it's JUST ONE." She puffs away,
resuming her conversation with her friend, and her life of addiction.
Next scene. We're walking from the bus through some lot with a bunch of dead grass. It's like a
border control point I vaguely remember as you enter Mexico from San Diego. Tess needs to get something from her bag, and asks me to hold the cigarette for
her. I do, and before I remember that I don't do that any more, I put the already-lit cigarette to my lips, and inha....STOP! NO! Oh my GOD! WHAT
HAVE I DONE! I exhale as quickly as I can. A big cloud of smoke comes out. I spit. The taste is all over my mouth. There's a drinking fountain
near-by. I'm there. I'm trying to rinse my mouth out. But the realization's there. I know I got enough. I could see it in the billowing
cloud of smoke that came out. Did I exhale in time? I know I didn't. I'm replaying one of Joel's articles in my mind.... the one about second
hand smoke not having the capacity to cause a relapse, but how even the amount of nicotine absorbed through the lining of the mouth on an inhaled smoke IS.
I know I'm lost. It was just an accident.... I only forgot for an instant. I know it's over. I know my freedom is taken. The demonic shadows
(like in the movie, "Ghost") are creeping up around me, hissing, coming to take me back.
And then I wake up. Tess is asleep next to me. My eyes are as wide as saucers. Takes me a moment to
collect the thoughts.... reassure myself that it was a dream.... there's a glass of water on the night stand.... I take a sip.... breathe
again.....
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childofnite GOLD |
The smoking dream | #86 | ||
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03/16/02 12:48 |
Oh god, OBob!!!!
I 'momentarily forgot' which thread I was reading in, and didn't realize it
was a dream, until after I read: I put the already-lit cigarette to my lips, and inha....STOP! NO! Oh my
GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE! Because I know, as dedicated a member of Freedom that you are, that if this had been
true you would NOT have posted.
 
But, you had me scared for a minute, there! I was SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO worried for your Tess! Don't do
that again!
Yqs, Diana
7 Months, 2 Weeks, 4 Days. *phew*...
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OBob Gold |
The smoking dream | #87 | ||
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03/16/02 01:05 |
That's how I felt like when I woke up this morning!
Sorry to scare you like that Diana. These doggone dreams seem so real.
And you're right. As a dedicated member of Freedom, I will never post a relapse for the simple reason that I will Never Take Another Puff.
10 weeks free tonight...
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childofnite GOLD |
The smoking dream | #88 | ||
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03/16/02 01:30 |
Yeesh, aren't they horrible?!
I still have them at 7.5 months quit, and they can be pretty scary - however, intermixed with
the scary ones, are ones in which I "JOEL-IZE" them buggers! LOL! I've got to have had a total of a hundred smoking dreams since I quit, and
they don't bother me nearly as much as they used to, because after a certain period of time (I think) you come to this 'knowing', in that you
*KNOW* - even while dreaming - that you wouldn't do that in real life, and so it dissipates quickly thereafter.
I remember a 'smoking' dream I had a month or two ago about a friend offering me a cig,
and me turning it down, and ragging on her for the rest of my dream in true Joel fashion - in my dream, my friend actually quit - now, THERE'S a smoking
dream I wouldn't have minded coming true...
Yqs, Diana
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childofnite GOLD |
The smoking dream | #89 | ||
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03/16/02 01:32 |
Oh, and MAJOR congrats on your 10 WEEKS, OBob!!!
I've been watching you journey since the beginning, and I have to say, you are an impressive
sight when you get going - reminiscent of our Marty.
I
have every confidence you'll be getting that Bronze medal in no time!
Diana
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OBob Gold |
The smoking dream | #90 | ||
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03/16/02 01:47 |
Wow, thanks Diana. That's a big compliment in my book. As Tess is fond of saying, I couldn't be like a
better person.
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NevadaGal Gold |
The smoking dream | #91 | ||
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04/03/02 09:47 |
Well, I woke up this morning sorta reeling from my dreams last night. I get my cup of coffee and log on which has become my new
morning ritual and WOW, there it is right on top of the board... smoking dreams.
It was a sign, I must type this one out...besides, it is pretty funny after I have had a few minutes to think it through.
I was bringing my husband to a Freedom Gathering of some sort (he is a never-smoker) to have him meet all of you whom I have become
very fond of. I was feeling pretty lousy with that 'out of sorts' feeling that I had in the very early days of my quit. I could not shake it, and
tried all my 'old' standby methods of dealing with craves... nothing worked. And since I was going to be seeing all of you soon I guess it is OK to
smoke as long as it is just one, and I figured I could quit again! And wow, I happened to have a cigarrette in my pocket! (how convenient!) So as we are
walking up to the 'Freedom Building' I am lighting up, and as soon as I do I feel tremedous guilt and begin to panic. Since this is the first
in-person gathering I have been to, nobody will know who I am, I decide to pose as a still-smoking spouse and ask my husband to pose as Matt, then I realize
his wife is pregnant and that probably won't work... maybe Marty, or Bob, no they are probably already here, no, we are going to have to find somebody
who is involved, yet not too much.... Well, I went through every male Freedom Member I could name, while puffing away trying to convince my husband to go
along with this charade.
Well, when I woke I really thought hard about this dream. Guess I am still learning every day who I really am and who I was when I was
smoking and to what lengths I am willing to go for my addiction. I am the queen of junkie thinking even in my dreams!
Here's to another day without nicotine!
The Happy Ex-Smoker
Rachel
Two weeks, five days, 9 hours, 36 minutes and 28 seconds. 194 cigarettes not smoked, saving $12.61. Life saved: 16 hours, 10 minutes.
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TooKan25 (green) |
The smoking dream | #92 | ||
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04/04/02 09:55 |
Bob,
...Look at it this way, it's like the earliest film technical brillance when the mirror, in the mirror, in the mirror.....ad
infinitum, or the TV Pic, within the pic, within the pic.... was figured out... NOW, we're talking literally about smoke and mirrors!
I'm telling you! Bergman!! WATCH OUT! We're gonna get it all over 'Persona and the Scmokin' Gun'. Orsen Wells?
is screwed, with the upcoming sequel "Rose Butt". Who else can I pick on... uh 'Dr. Caligary's Humidor'...
My mind is just hysterical in these things... because I NEVER WANT to smoke...it's the evasion of the act that causes me to
divert... in the dream... I'm still working on the whole Greecian Satyr thing here... and the required elements of tragedy and satyr...protagonist,
error/oopsy/moral screw up/flaw... and that we can't fight fate. hummmm.... So far? I have NOT smoked in any one of the dreams. I've either woken
up laughing or move into another dream...
uh, if you get an agent, does this mean I already owe you royalities?
TooKan
Two months, one week, two days, 14 hours, 25 minutes and 52 seconds. 1715 cigarettes not smoked, saving $257.25. Life saved: 5 days, 22 hours, 55 minutes.
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OBob Gold |
The smoking dream | #93 | ||
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04/04/02 10:17 |
TooKan, you've got me giggling like an idiot.
 Last night, I dreamt I was a film critic. .
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TooKan25 (green) |
The smoking dream | #94 | ||
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04/05/02 10:45 |
Bob! There's an epidemic!
So, there I was again... just now... woken up... the dream...(I cannot believe this is happening again.) THIS time, I am in a hotel,
one on the mountains here in Colorado...Beaver Creek...foofoo hotel. I am DYING to get massaged, cucumber wrapped, (oh my gawd to die for...) I am SOOOO
excited to be there... I am waiting to check in...I have my suitcase, skiis...another suitcase, wait...wait, what is THAT...a CASE of assorted cigarettes on
the valet's cart. I begin to pitch a complete fit... that the porter has LOST one case, and that I cannot POSSIBLY stay in the hotel, amongst thieves.
The manager of the hotel is offering me free rooms, ski passes, a private condo, food, wine, more massages.... OHHHH no, I want is restitution for the
cigarettes... and the harm has been irrepairable...well, maybe MORE ...10 cases, should more than make up for the loss, the humiliation of my behavior in the
lobby...and I'm very very interested in keeping of the heavy teri cloth robes for my very own. Again, I do not smoke a thing, and wake up with the
porter delivering all this crap, pounds of food, wine, flowers...whaever... and entire bed is piled to the ceiling w/smokes. No even I draw this
line---smoking in bed...The cigarettes get their own private room. This has hit and fallen OVER the top.)
...I don't know WHO or WHAT to blame... the spinach pizza I had for dinner, my subsconscious mind completely running amuck, or the
sheer ability to really be able to release some of this insanity, however far-fetched I have to take it... for it to SINK into my thick head. I have a
sneeking hunch that since this subject has been broached I have to admit I have hightened awareness about... the smoking dream... and now, lighters. I am
near to convincing myself that it is NOT smoking therapy I need but rather Post Traumatic Nicotine Disorder treatment. (again, if there is a legal waiver here...regarding confidentiality on my posts... thank you ever so much, I'd like to review that now.)
And Bob, watch out in your new career path... you're up against some substantial "obstacles"...think about it... THOSE
cig's are 20 feet tall, on the big screen...careful-- there could be a rash of unexplained cinema house fires.
(I must be delerious...TooKan
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Anna GOLD |
The smoking dream | #95 | ||
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04/09/02 04:03 |
Hehe, you guys have me cracking up!
Wish I had time to go back and read this whole thread again, but have to head to work.
My dreams have gone from devastating to almost down right ridiculous in that I wake up shaking my head and chuckling. Last
night, I dreamt my hubby, some people from work, and I were at a social gathering with one of my bosses. (I work for 7 doctors). Now, this one dr is not my
favorite of the bunch by a long shot, so why he was even in this dream is beyond me. Anyway, we're all sitting around a table and the doc produces hand
rolled cigarettes. (not sure where that came from either; NEVER smoked hand rolled) He insisted that we all join him for a smoke. Being that he was a
doctor, (and I guess because it was a dream) I must have convinced myself it was ok, so I did partake, but immediately woke up at that point. It took me
about 2 seconds of panic to realize it was a dream, then the chuckling came in. The mind is a mysterious thing.
 Heading to work. *rolling eyes*
3 Months 1 Week 5 Days 8 Hours 3 Minutes 9 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 2353. Money saved: $588.43.
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Saint GOOD GOLD |
The smoking dream | #96 | ||
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04/18/02 06:21 |
How true it is how true it is.........
My dream was sooo real!!!! I got home from work parked in the alley the way I always do but this time I was walking to the 711 and (though I dont remember
buying smokes I did have one) I lit it up....and all of a sudden I started crying......I dident even want a smoke its like i was just majically in that
situation. Then I was so incredibly pissed off at myself, I mean geez, even when I woke up I was angry at myself.....it really did take me a few minutes to
realize that it was only a dream!!!!
Jacinthe
1 week 5 days!!! WHOO HOO!!!!
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misledfairy |
The smoking dream | #97 | ||
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04/21/02 05:06 |
Now it is weird that this post should be at the top when I arrived here today, I dreampt that I was smoking last night, when I woke up I was in such a sweat,
I was so disappointed with myself and felt I had let everyone here down. It took several minutes before I calmed down and realised I'd dreampt the whole
thing.
Love Naymor
xxxx
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SweetLorraine (Gold) |
The smoking dream | #98 | ||
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05/06/02 09:43 |
 Thanks to freedom I knew this was not a sign I wanted to smoke or was never going to get past thoughts and dreams of smoking, but rather a sign
of healing. So glad it was just a dream.
yqf Lorraine
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Roger (Gold) |
The smoking dream | #99 | ||
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05/07/02 01:55 |
Lorraine,
Wondering if it was a full moon last night. I had one also at over 4 months. I haven't had one in a while. I guess a person never
knows what is in store for us. They bother me during the dream itself as they are so realistic. Once I wake I can just say a big
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...and roll over and pay no more attention to it. It is such a calming feeling to know I will never take another puff. Even nightmares
like smoking again can be looked at as just another dream as long as that is all they are is a DREAM.........
Roger
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SweetLorraine (Gold) |
The smoking dream | #100 | ||
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05/07/02 06:34 |
Hi Roger,
Maybe it was a full moon - but Marty still has them last time I heard so no end in sight. Once awake I
felt, like you, very relieved, but it was very upsetting during the dream. Even while upset that I'd blown my quit I was debating having another
cigarette or quitting instantly. (This whole debate is happening in dream, which is taking place somewhere in the West Bank with suicide bombers and snipers
and tanks and I had foolishly accepted a fellow refugee's offer of a smoke. Strange how the mind works - I plan to cut down on world news.
Not under attack and still free to wear the silver
shoes!
yqf Lorraine
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