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Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

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John (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

Lead

[-]

07/06/02 03:35

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Alcohol and Your Quit

Freedom teaches that we don't need to give up any part of our life when quitting except for our nicotine. The weekend has arrived again and with it the opportunity to have a few drinks and be with friends. How do you approach this most important encounter with alcohol, smokers and good times? What planning, if any, can you do? When is it safe to do so?

The odds of a brand new quit surviving the pub or bar scene while consuming large quantities of alcohol are not promising! Walking into an environment loaded with ashtrays, lighters and packs everywhere in a smoke and smoker filled room, while consuming a mind and sense altering substance during a temporary period of time that you were giving it your all not to smoke nicotine can be a tragic mistake, even fatal. Although alcohol has been found to play a role in half of all fatal vehicle collisions, its death toll in relation to the destruction of quits is even greater.

Many of you have already successfully navigated this situation while others have not. If you have, please share the important lessons you learned. Your words of wisdom might save both a quit and a life.

My advice is simple! Think it though, plan ahead, keep your guard up, and always remember that you can walk away. An early encounter with alcohol can involve multiple triggers. Keep in mind that it's possible to address them one at a time. Alcohol itself could be a habit trigger, being around other smokers another, having a good or bad time while drinking a third or possibly even a fourth, and having too much to drink a possible fifth. Then again, your anxiety attack triggering cue could be something as simple as ice cubes hitting a glass in a dark smoke filled environment. We've each developed some pretty unique feeding habits.

You can drink at home first without the other stuff, or going out for a good time in a smoke and smoker filled location without drinking. The planning possibilities are numerous. It may be possible to handle it all at once and put it behind you but baby steps may be a better approach for you. You know you better than anyone else! Listen to yourself and above all keep in mind that loving "delay" - just three minutes - is one of your best friends right now. This too is doable!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long! YQB John : )

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DMarkGold11

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#1

[-]

07/06/02 03:56

Thanks for this one John. I enjoy my beer and this was a big concern for me at first. Here is what I did:

First time of moderate drinking: Invited my non-smoking brother (the really annoying one that used to pester me about smoking) who also likes to inbibe, up to my abode...This way, I hit a bunch of triggers, had a built in support person, who didn't even need to say anything, since I remebered all the previous comments, in an environment that did not have cig's available at all.

Next: Short stop at the local pub for a quick beer or two (not too much). This too will hit a bunch of triggers, but you can always leave, since you are alone. If you go with someone else be sure that they realize that you may want to leave quickly...Don't drink too much, and don't stay longer than you think you can comfortable. This is a tricky mix, so don't try to be a hero this early. If you are a regular at a pub, go to that pub and tell the bar tender that you have quit smoking...Usually even if they smoke they will be supportive.

You can then work your way back to normal drinking/bar hoping over a matter of time. Also think of it this way...if you are spending less time at the pub, that is even more money that can be added to your $$$ saved line of your quit meter!

Be careful...I had a few too many last weekend and was very close to buming one from a smoking friend...I didn't, but it was a close thing...

Mark

9W4D22H 2718 not smoked $543 saved (not including all the pub trips)

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John (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#2

[-]

07/06/02 04:07

Some great points Mark, thanks! I know it's been said in many other Freedom threads but it bears saying again. We don't want any of our members or youth visitors to think that Freedom advocates drinking alcohol because we don't. That being said, we don't want any of our members who do drink to lose their quit by doing so when a bit of planning could have made all the difference in the world. Thanks again Mark for sharing!

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OBob Gold

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#3

[-]

07/06/02 04:24

Couple of other suggestions.

**One Day At a Time is crucial with respect to going to the pub/bar/saloon/nightclub and indulging. As you say, John, the triggers can rack up pretty tall, and all at once. It can get a bit overwhelming. It's always helpful to be able to fall back on, "hey wait, it's just one night. All I have to do is make it through ONE NIGHT. When you're preparing (and DO prepare) keep reminding yourself. "I'm going to get through this one night." Worry about nothing else. Don't fall into the trap of thinking, when you get to the bar, "oh man, this is tough. How am I going to be able to do this for the rest of my life?!" Just one night. Each successive visit, it gets easier. Still, each time is a night unto itself, and it's the only one you have to worry about.

**An ex-smoking friend. Can be really helpful to have somebody with you who's been through it. Serves as a good morale booster, a support, and a reminder that this can be done.

**Don't fall into the jealousy trap. It's tempting to look at smokers, (particularly in a festive atmosphere), and imagine that they're really enjoying smoking, and that you're being left out. No. They're feeding an addiction that demands regular feedings. They don't have a choice in the matter. They're being forced by early-onset withdrawal to administer poison into their lungs. Most, when pressed, would admit to regretting ever starting. Several are eyeing you, and wondering if you'll pull it off. They're wondering if you'll succeed. Some are hoping you won't, because your success will make their own addiction that much more of an embarassment. Some are praying you do succeed, because in your success lies hope that they too can break the chains. None are considering themselves lucky to be actively addicted to a drug they know risks their very existence with each drag.

**It's not a tragedy if you have a rough night. In the grand scheme of things, one rough night isn't a big deal. A rough night is a night where you're forced to do damage to your body every 20 - 30 minutes. A rough night is recovering from surgery to remove your lung. A rough night is trying to settle your affairs with your attorney through a morphine daze. In the end, if you go into it with the attitude that, "under no circumstances will I smoke tonight", it's unlikely that you'll be bothered for more than a few minutes here or there. Still, even if the night doesn't go too smoothly, it's still a resounding success if you get home in posession of your freedom. A resounding success.

Bob (6 months free)

Last Edited By: FreedomNicotine 02/27/09 07:13. Edited 1 time.

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SammymnGOLD

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#4

[-]

07/12/02 07:11

THANKS to all who posted on this subject. I'm a new starter, 8 days in, and feeling GREAT who will heed your words of wisdom to a T. For now, I'm not going near alcohol or smokers, but will save these posts for the inevitable time when I will.

8 days, 140+ smokes.

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Kit Cat (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#5

[-]

08/02/02 07:30

I guess I was more fortunate than others when it came time to drink and not smoke.

When I QUIT smoking I promised myself that I was not going to let the matter of "smoke" still run my life after I QUIT (I'm pretty stubborn) , so when we went to the bar and I noticed others smoking, I basically told myself that they may be smokers, but that I was not!

I'M in control now not the cigarette.

If I do get that craving I give myself a pep talk (in my head, so no one else hears me!) that I made the choice to socialize and not smoke. For me it's been a mind over matter and believe it or not, even when I'm drunk!

This won't work for everyone, but it has for me.

YQS

Catherine

"I'd rather be an ex-smoker who has an occasional thought about smoking than a smoker obsessing about quitting."

I have not smoked for 2 Months 3 Weeks 6 Days 9 Hours 37 Minutes 35 Seconds. I'M NEVER TAKING ANOTHER PUFF!

Last Edited By: FreedomNicotine 04/12/09 03:02. Edited 2 times.

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John (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#6

[-]

08/30/02 06:18

The weekend is here.

Please be careful !

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Puh(BRONZE)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#7

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08/31/02 06:09

Big Party down here in New Orleans . Not for me however. I do

not think that I would be ready to go out to the bar with friends have a few and be able to keep what I have been working so very hard at. I will keep it quiet, 2 Hefe Weizen that is the limit and no going out to the bars at all.

Ulrike

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IrishLotus GOLD

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#8

[-]

09/11/02 05:06

I am a girl who enjoys her drink, and who socializes with friends and family in many different environments which include alcohol. I made the decision to quit smoking and took my last puff last Friday morning. That of course immediately set me up for two nights of alcohol filled revelry with no cigarettes....on the first two nights of my quit. I could have stayed in bed and avoided as many triggers as possible but instead I was determined to attack my alcohol related triggers head on (not recommended for all newbies, certainly) because I wanted to test my resolve as soon as possible... alcohol related triggers being the most anxiety producing for me. Also, to tell you the truth, I was feeling quite invincible with my decision to STAY QUIT

and I felt I was up for a challenge.....SOOOOO, what was my game plan?

First of all, it is extremely important that everyone you are out with knows that you have QUIT SMOKING. Not that it wouldn't have been obvious what with my constant rubber band snapping, but friends who are used to seeing you smoke WILL offer you a cigarette out of sheer "courtesy" if they see you are the only one without a butt in the bar so it is VERY IMPORTANT to keep everyone informed.

The build up to the bar scene was the worst part. Not only was I visting a bar, but I was visiting my boyfriend's local pub, the one he has been to ever since he hit 21, filled with all of his friends that, this early in our relationship, I still had yet to meet. This was a good and bad situation, I suppose, because I felt a bit more anxiety related to meeting new people, yet these people did not know me as a smoker so I was kind of starting off with a fresh slate, you know? Anyway, the other good thing was the "challenge" my boyfriend inadvertently presented to me right before we got into the bar. "If you make it through tonight without a cigarette, I will be shocked" he told me, right as he swung open the doors and revealed the smoke-filled bar for the first time. I took a deep breath of the clean outside air and stepped over the threshold.

I sat at the bar and thought....hmmmmmm, this isn't so bad, I can do this. I started sipping my first drink. The bartender came over and began flirting with my boyfriend (apparently she is married but still enjoys flirting with him). I bit down on my lip and started to feel a crave come up from my toes. It seemed as if each person around the bar lit up, one by one, the guy next to me smoking my brand. The bartender lit my boyfriend's cigarette for him. He turned and smiled at me and said in a challenging way, "you're never gonna make it." Of course, he knows me well enough that he is aware that such a statement will only strengthen my resolve...especially when it means I can prove him wrong.

I sat and sipped my beer and looked at all of the slaves to nicotine puffing in around me. I didn't feel as if I needed or even wanted a cigarette, I just began to feel this overwhelmingly strong feeling of not belonging. I couldn't take it anymore, I excused myself and went to the ladies and just sobbed and sobbed.

After catching my breath, and splashing some cold water on my face, I returned to the bar and felt an overwhelming sense of relief....Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (MUCH better than any inhale off a sickarette)....I knew at that point, I DID IT! Just one crave at a time. After that, the night was a piece of cake because I felt as if I had defeated, for the first time, the nicodemon that lurks in bars and taverns and in every sip of alcohol I will ever take for the rest of my life. If I could do it once, I could do it again, and again, and again, one puff at a time. The final piece of advice I would offer to anyone taking on this trigger for the first time, would be to make sure you have a good friend who will be able to watch you (the designated driver or an ex-smoker would be helpful), should you have one too many, who will be able to help you defend your quit no matter what. Or better yet, don't get so drunk that you won't be able to defend your quit yourself.

Well, that's my way of tackling the tavern trigger. I hope it was helpful to some of you. Thanks again for all of the constant support and encouragement. You have helped me to continue my vigilant march towards FREEDOM, one step at a time.

I have chosen to be nicotine free for 5 Days 1 Minute 18 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 150. Money saved: $37.51.

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John (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#9

[-]

10/05/02 05:55

Please be careful this weekend!

Remember, you can always walk away!

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John (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#10

[-]

01/01/03 01:37

Be careful drinking this New Years

as your life may depend on it !

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OBob Gold

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#11

[-]

01/01/03 02:39

Alcohol and quitting

Eat, drink and be merry.

Last Edited By: FreedomNicotine 03/06/09 07:49. Edited 1 time.

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OBob Gold

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#12

[-]

01/01/03 02:42

Wrote this to a member a while back...

This was certainly a challenge for me the first few times at the pub. And, I dealt with it on those occassions by preparing for it BEFORE I got the pints on the table. Before I went out, I reaffirmed my commitment that, at least on THAT night, I wouldn't smoke. It's a tricky business, but I found that if I made the commitment, and repeated it over and over to myself while SOBER, it was easier to stick to it when I got soused.

I think the reason it helps, is that you can formulate some mantras while sober that can carry you through a situation later in the night when you're not. You have your reasoning powers when you're sober, and you can give yourself a 1...2...3... list that you can use later on. However, once you've tipped a few back, you no longer have those reasoning powers. If you haven't given them to yourself ahead of time, you may find yourself FACE TO FACE with Nic, with NO defenses prepared, and he's armed to the teeth, having waited to find you in just such a defenseless state.

I've even brought things I've written down to help me through the event. In fact, I remember when Tess (my wife) went out for one of her first nic-free trips to the pub, she printed out something particularly inspirational from one of the members here (Hal), and carried it with her. She promised herself that if she got tempted, she would take a break, head for the jax (, and read it before making her decision on whether or not to smoke. It got her through a tough night.

Again though, the key point is that she went into the night with a SIMPLE plan. I think the SIMPLICITY is key, because we tend to screw complex things up when we're in the horrors. You formulate the plan while sober, you write it out (or print it out) if you think it'll help, you promise yourself you'll make it through JUST THAT NIGHT without toking, and you also promise yourself that you'll NEVER just simply reach for the ciggie, or buy the Drum without first giving yourself a coupla minutes to review your plan.

Remember....

Prepare. Commit. Affirm.
Celebrate the New Year tonight.

Celebrate your freedom in the morning.

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richard This is It GOLD

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#13

[-]

03/07/03 09:02

Off to Vegas again tonight.... (double birthday celebration)... and won't be around for a few days.

While sorting out some clothes to take, guess what.... out falls a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from an old jacket. Absolutely ZERO trigger at all as they were calmly dispatched to the bin...... that's what I call Freedom

Have a good weekend all.... and remember.... don't puff.... there is no need....

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ComicForces GOLD

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#14

[-]

03/07/03 09:21

Just figured I'd post a portion of my "two week mark" post here - in case this insight will help any other "newbies" like myself -

During a previous quit of mine (a few years back, before I ever knew about Freedom - a 6 month failed quit, while out drinking (I have also said before that I am a social drinker - just so happens my circle of friends likes to congregate in bars and parties, etc) I used to sit and be miserable about the fact that I couldn't have a smoke. I never felt FREE, I just felt obsessive the whole time. I have been in 2 different bar situations since my quit…. And neither time was it as hard for me as it was even at 5 months in my previous quit. This is because I felt I was making a choice - a good choice. I was more present…and everyone around me was smoking, both times.

I have developed sort of a new perspective on other smokers. I guess I used to have that jealousy thing going on. (I mean, it still creeps up as I am only at 2 weeks…). But now I tend to look at these people thinking that if they are not already disgusted with their "habit" (we here know it's an addiction but I called it a habit right there because that's what they THINK it is), they will be soon enough.. And instead of me looking at them with jealousy, I think that THEY may be (or will EVENTUALLY be) looking at ME with jealousy. They will admire my strength…and when they see me having a truly good time, and being truly present, WITHOUT smoking, they will admire me, and hopefully see me as an inspiration. I do not have to tell these people to look at me that way, or discuss my quit. If they are true addicts and even remotely acknowledging the fact that smoking is a problem for them, they will admire me for what I am doing, and they will long for the freedom I have - or at least am beginning to have (and will eventually really will have as completely as possible).

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John (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#15

[-]

10/31/03 10:46

Imagine being in early chemical withdrawal while your brain dopamine, serotonin and adrenaline neurotransmitters were in the process of trying to again adjust to functioning without nicotine. Imagine while your conscious dreams of freedom doing a wonderful job suppressing, calming and overcoming subconscious fears, craves and anxieties associated with leaving its sense of normal, it's world of nicotine normal. Now imagine taking early recovery into a smoke and smoker filled environment and then commencing to drink large quantities of a mind altering and inhibition diminishing substance. What are the chances of success?

It's what these threads are all about. Although we teach that you need not give up anything when quitting that rule must be applied using a bit of common sense. We also teach baby steps and little bites and those principles work well in helping each of us work-up to fully engaging all aspects of life. Alcohol may play a role in half of all fatal vehicle collisions but it likely plays a much greater role in the death toll stemming from nicotine relapse. Plan ahead and protect your investment in life!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long Freedom! John

Last Edited By: FreedomNicotine 04/12/09 03:03. Edited 1 time.

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John (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#16

[-]

11/08/03 05:54

We deeply believe that it isn't necessary to give up or change any aspect of your life when quitting but this is one area where a bit of common sense is needed during the first few days. Think it through, plan ahead and don't forget that baby steps are just fine when first learning to walk. Just one objective, no nicotine today!

Last Edited By: FreedomNicotine 04/12/09 03:04. Edited 1 time.

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John (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#17

[-]

01/31/04 12:06

From: Joel. (Original Message)

Sent: 6/9/2001 7:12 AM

It is imperative that everyone here recognizes that everything you can do as a smoker, you can also do as an ex-smoker. You just have to teach yourself how. Somethings you are forced early on to learn immediately, how to eat, sleep, use the washroom, breath, etc. These are things that are required from day one for survival, so even though you may resist doing one of them, you can't resist it for long and will thereby be forced to start to break the association to smoking early on. Other things are sometimes put off and seen as not critical to face early on. Things like working, laundry, cleaning, brushing teeth, combing hair, etc. While it is true you won't die if you stop one of these activities for a day or two, putting off doing them too long will create a set of problems that can be quite annoying to those around you. Besides threatening your livelihood and making you look like a slob in general, if carried on too long, you can really start to feel intimidated that you may not be able to do one or more of these activities ever again. Once again I need to repeat the opening sentence here, everything you do as a smoker, you can also do as an ex-smoker--but you have to teach yourself how.

Now when it comes to areas of less importance, watching tv, sports, playing cards, being a couch potato, and yes, even drinking with friends--things that are not necessary for survival and in fact, things that may not even be good for you, well, the truth is you can do these things too as an ex-smoker. The same process is necessary though, you have to teach yourself how. Holding off too long can create a sense of intimidation, the feeling that you can never do it again. This simply is not the case, you will be able to get yourself back to your prequit existence if you choose to.

Drinking is a special case because the association is so strong and by its very nature lowers your inhibitions and can cause people to do some very irrational behaviors. Smoking can be one of them. Because of the drug influence, it is best to take it on gradually, in the beginning in a safe environment. By that I mean the first time, limit it to one drink just to show yourself you can do that. Also, do it with people who are non-smokers and who really are supportive of your quit. This is a much safer situation in the beginning by going out with drinking smoking buddies who may be a tad envious of your quit, and who, while drinking also have their inhibitions lowered that may manifest in behaviours of encouragement of your smoking at a time when you are more vulnerable.

Soon you will be able to face these environments too, but work your way their gradually, breaking some of the association and intimidation factors in the safer controlled environments. The fact is though, for the rest of your life you will need to keep your guard up, in a sense reminding yourself of your reason for having quit and the importance to stay off smoking everytime before you go drinking. It prepares you to face the situation in a much safer state of readiness.

One special note I need to make here. When I say everything you do as a smoker, you can do as an ex-smoker, the reverse is also true for some activities. If you were a recovering addict to alcohol or any other substance before, you couldn't use that substance as a smoker and you can't as an ex-smoker either without a full blown relapse.

There are some things you may be able to do now that you couldn't do before due to physical limitations posed by smoking. You may find that you are capable of doing activities that you gave up years ago because you were too old to do them or they hurt when you tried, and now, without smoking limiting you physically, you may find you will recapture activities you lost in your youth. This is great when it happens. But again, use of a substance you had a known problem with in the past is still an issue as an ex-smoker and will be for the rest of your life.

So anyway, use your own timetable that you are comfortable with, but the sooner you prove to yourself that life goes on without smoking, the sooner the concept of life after cigarette will become less intimidating and actually welcomed. Just start out gradually and in the case of alcohol, in a little bit of a safer more controlled environment and fashion.

The way to learn to do everything though is to gradually do everything while always remembering to never take another puff!

Joel

Alcohol and quitting

Last Edited By: FreedomNicotine 08/21/09 05:19. Edited 1 time.

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John (Gold)

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#18

[-]

06/15/04 01:00

Be very very careful during early recovery. Within a couple of weeks you'll do fine but getting intoxicated while still in early withdawal, while badly craving nicotine, is not an intelligent move. Break it down into baby steps. Remember, you can always walk away.

This is your gift to you. Protect it above all else as your health and very likely your life are depending 100% upon you! There's only one rule - no nicotine today. The next few minutes are all that ever matter and each is entirely doable. We'll all be with you in spirit. Breathe deep, hug hard, live long! John (Gold x5)

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SPUDTFN

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#19

[-]

01/06/05 05:10

This is interesting for me to read since I already nearly made this mistake. Day 2 for me was New Years Eve in a pub with smoker friends. The good news is I survived. But I do not recommend it though. It hurt and I could just as easily stepped over the edge and committed slow suicide with one puff.

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Philip2825

Be Prepared - Alcohol and Your Quit

#20

[-]

12/27/05 12:12

I'm a new quitter who, since quitting, has enjoyed occasional drinks at home and even more over the holidays!
I had no problems at all but I certainly wouldn't want to be in a smoke filled bar. Or any smoke filled room for that matter.
I also have a few drinking buddies. We tend to have a couple of beers at home and all are 'neversmokers.'
But I would definitely agree with this advice. You don't want to get bombed around smokers.
Philip (Day 23)

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