The Closet Smoker

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (molly) — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 11:07:14 GMT

I posted earlier, but have no idea where it went. Probably floating out there in cyberspace somewhere. I can't do this alone, so listening to everyone each day helps me. Being addictied to nicotine was painful. Recovery is uncomfortable right now. Very uncomfortable. I have hope that as time passes without taking another puff life will improve. Discomfort right now may make my recovery more valuable. Easy come, easy go. I won't go back, not today. Never take another...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (grandmaroux) — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 11:46:07 GMT

There was nothing that I wouldn't do to get a cigarette when I was in the closet. This thread brings back all of that and I never want to be in that situation again. I don't even know how long i hid it (or tried to) it was a long time, like probably 3 years. How ridiculous. Missing out on things is putting it mildly. I missed whole weekends of doing things just so I could stay home alone and smoke. How ridiculous. If I had not finally told everyone that I was smoking I...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (JoeJFree Gold) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 16:21:00 GMT

"......They are stuck in chronic withdrawal and the chronic anxiety of being caught, all for the luxury of sneaking a cigarette here and there to temporarily alleviate withdrawal whenever possible. It is obvious that the closet smoker is not smoking for enjoyment. They can't enjoy it during the act because they're afraid of being caught. The reason for lighting any given cigarette is plain and simple - the nicotine...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (soulagement0) — Tue, 20 May 2008 10:59:00 GMT
This is just such a great post, I have read it twice from beginning to end. Really so much applied to me - being a closet smoker I missed out on so many events, activities, family time.... It really dominated every decision I'd make about where and how to spend my time. I'm going to viti my folks soon - the first time in 20 years where I won't be "sneaking" nicotine fixes. I truly think it will change everything about spending time with my family, which I have always...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (bebeloves7) — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:56:00 GMT

More immediate of a risk is living a lie that places them in constant fear of being exposed. This will drastically reduce the amount smoked. The closet smoker will only smoke when the opportunity permits. But that means spending numerous hours every day, and possibly even entire days in a state of constant withdrawal.

This article really hit home for me. It is exactly what I have experienced from the time that I started. I was in a...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (GarnetIsMyRealName) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 20:46:00 GMT
It's been eight days now, but this thread really hit me. I was pretty much a closet smoker, smoking only in my car - terrified that my Dad or boyfriend would ask me to drive somewhere, or that they would go get something I forgot in my car and smell the smoke - or worse, find the pack of cigarettes. I burned two cigarette holes in the driver's seat, so I bought a seat cover. I feel so much safer from the steely eyes of my Dad since I quit, since there is nothing to hide in my car...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (swrld) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 06:48:00 GMT

Joel,

Thanks for the thread! It was absolutely exhausting maintaining my habit and keeping it a secret. What a roller coaster!

Kristi

3 weeks and almost 6 days

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (John (Gold)) — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 18:34:00 GMT

The below article by Elizabeth Leland does a wonderful job of highlighting relapse, chemical dependency and life as a closet smoker. What the author repeatedly demonstrates is a failure to grasp the distinction between a habit and addiction. Why so many uses of the word "habit"? Because she, herself, like most of society, has a long-term habit of looking at chemical dependency upon smoking nicotine as a "habit."...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (Joel) — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 02:09:00 GMT

I am not sure if you noticed, but I am not really big on "outing smokers."

From above:

How can you use someone's closet smoking status to a possible advantage to help the person quit? If you know someone is smoking and hiding it, don't let on that you know. As soon as you do they feel at liberty to smoke in peace and happiness, after all, they have nothing to hide now.
...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (whiteknucklinnewbie) — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 02:00:00 GMT
Do you see this, Alex? We have been outed!
Thank you, Joel. Your information is priceless and life saving.

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (Marixpress) — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 18:37:00 GMT
I found out recently that my boyfriend who claimed to have quit had actually only become a closet smoker and was hiding it from me. I had a suspicion but I didn't want to ask him flat out. I accidentally found his "secret hiding place" two days ago when he asked me to get a cd out of the car. I was really upset and I don't know if I handled the situation correctly.

I asked him to answer one question for me. I asked if he had been smoking. He said no. Then I...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (John (Gold)) — Sun, 07 May 2006 16:49:00 GMT

Imagine the nightmare of trying to hide a chemical dependency that must be fed multiple times daily. Imagine the mountain of lies you'd need to tell. Imagine badly need a fix but not being able to do so. Imagine it happening often. My grandma Polito was a closet (bathroom) smoker. Oh how I wish she were still here and I could share what we've learned. Not being taught the law of addiction and the power of a puff is a horrible reason to die.
...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (Roger (Gold)) — Thu, 19 Jan 2006 07:37:00 GMT

Hiding From The Truth,

Come Out Of the Closet!

Just One Day At A Time

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (ChristyMay1977) — Thu, 11 Aug 2005 07:21:00 GMT

Being a closet smoker was way too difficult - I tried it, but only for three months (during a relapse last year) and decided it was WAY too much work so rather than come out of the closet with my smoking, I decided to quit again instead ~ I'm sure you'll agree that was by far the smarter decision.

What I...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (Joel) — Mon, 08 Aug 2005 14:40:00 GMT

Smoke screen

Some people go to great lengths to hide their habit

By Joseph P. Kahn, Globe Staff | July 25, 2005

The penultimate episode of ''Everybody Loves Raymond" outed one of the series' recurrent characters -- Pat MacDougall, played by actress Georgia Engel -- as a secret cigarette smoker. Family members were stunned, if not amused, to discover Pat had been puffing away for years, concealing her habit with...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (Oliviadawg) — Thu, 25 Nov 2004 19:14:00 GMT
This thread really hits home ... I'm not with my family today, but I can't wait to have my first Christmas at my parents without constantly finding excuses to leave the house in order to smoke. (The worst excuse I ever came up with? "Mom, I can't drink this 1% milk. I'm going to the grocery store to pick up some skim milk." Embarassing, but I really did that. And probably smoked about four cigarettes in a row in the Kroger parking lot.)

I hid my smoking...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (vonstev) — Wed, 17 Nov 2004 20:47:00 GMT
As one former closet smoker to another, congratulations!

Don't you just feel like the biggest weight has been lifted off your shoulders?

I think closet smokers have a slightly different quit experience than open smokers. On the one hand, it can be difficult because we may choose to make our quit "closet" as well, which means we don't have the support of others during our quit (and the dangerous junkie thinking of "if no one knows I'm quitting, no...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (Newday88) — Wed, 17 Nov 2004 03:39:00 GMT

I just read your story about being a closet smoker and could really relate to it! My problem was that I live in a small town so I couldn't smoke in public. Luckily we have some bush behind our house and I would spend much of my time taking my dogs for walks so I could smoke. I smoked "in the open" about a pack to pack-and-a-half for 35 years but spent the last 3-4 years in the "closet". Whenever I heard a car pull up in our driveway I would panic. I...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (Newday88) — Mon, 15 Nov 2004 23:51:00 GMT

I just want to thank you for taking the time to write. It is SO GOOD to FINALLY talk to and listen to other people who were closet smokers. I really thought that I was alone in that "catagory". I have driven through snowstorms in the past, risked my life (I still can't believe the things I did) for a cigarette. And, it never really tasted that good! I went about 4 years too with my family thinking that I had quit. They were forever praising me and using me as...

Re: The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (freemom) — Mon, 15 Nov 2004 19:08:00 GMT

This link really hit a nerve for me. I was a closet smoker for the last 4 years of my addiction. I started smoking when I was about 16 and continued until I got pregnant with my first child at 32 years old. I Quit through 2 pregnancies (smoked for the 6 months in between) and started again just a couple of days after my second was born. From then on, the deception began. I had 2 groups of friends which represented my duel personalities. One group were from my past, my smoking...

The Closet Smoker

feeds@yuku.com (Joel) — Wed, 14 Mar 2001 15:51:00 GMT

Joel's Reinforcement Library

The Closet Smoker

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